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PIDDLING PETE
A Poem by Bob McCormick
A farmer's dog once comes to town
His Christian name was Pete
His Pedigree was two yards long
His looks were hard to beat.
And as he trotted through the town
How beautiful to see
His work on every doorway
His work on every tree.
He watered every gateway
And never missed a post
For piddling was his masterpiece
And piddling was his boast.
The city dogs looked on
With deep and jealous rage
To see a simple country dog
The piddler of the age
Behind him all the city dogs
Decided what they'd do
They'd hold a Piddling Carnival
To see the stranger through.
They sprang this on him suddenly
When half way through the town
But Pete just piddled on and on
And wore the champions down.
Pete was with them every trick
With vigour and with vim
A thousand piddles more or less
Were all the same to Pete.
On and on went noble Pete
To water every sand-hill
And the entire city dogs behind
Were piddled to a stand-still.
Then Pete he gave an exhibition
Of all the ways to piddle
Like double drips and fancy flips
And now and then a dribble.
Then Pete just piddled blithely out
As he had piddled in
The city dogs said "So long Pete
Your piddling did defeat us "
But no-one ever put them wise
Poor Pete had diabetes.